122 Best Funny Sayings And Quotes About Getting Older (2024)

Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. March 27, 2023

Oh boy, here we go! Get ready to laugh and embrace your seniority with these 20 funny sayings about getting older.

71 Funny Sayings About Getting Older

1. “You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your birthday cake than friends at your party.”
2. “Aging gracefully is just code for ‘I’m too tired to fight gravity.'”
3. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.”
4. “At a certain age, you start to forget things, like why you walked into a room or where you put your keys…or your glasses…or your phone…”
5. “When you’re young, you think wrinkles are for old people. Then you wake up one day and realize you look like a raisin.”
6. “They say you’re as young as you feel, but sometimes you feel like a creaky old door that needs oiling.”
7. “You know you’re getting old when you start saying things like ‘back in my day…'”
8. “The older you get, the more you appreciate a good nap.”
9. “As you age, your brain cells start to die off. But don’t worry, you won’t miss them.”
10. “When you were young, you wanted to be older. Now that you’re older, you want to be young again. Life is funny that way.”
11. “The only thing worse than getting old is not getting old.”
12. “As you get older, your memory fades. But the good news is, you can hide your own Easter eggs.”
13. “Aging is like a fine wine. You get better with age, but you still give people headaches.”
14. “You know you’re getting old when you start taking naps during movies.”
15. “You used to have a six-pack, now you have a party keg.”
16. “As you age, you become more selective about who you spend your time with. Because, let’s face it, life is too short for toxic people.”
17. “Getting older is like a new chapter in your life. Unfortunately, it’s a chapter called ‘Aches and Pains.'”
18. “You know you’re getting old when your idea of a wild night is staying up past 9 pm.”
19. “The older you get, the less you care about what other people think. You’ve earned the right to be yourself, wrinkles and all.”
20. “Aging is inevitable, but growing old is a choice. Choose to laugh, have fun, and enjoy the journey.”
21. “At a certain age, you become less concerned with fitting in and more concerned with just getting in your stretchy pants.”
22. “Growing old is like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs, but it’s still a wild ride.”
23. “The older you get, the more you realize that you don’t have to impress anyone. Except maybe your doctor.”
24. “You know you’re getting old when you start to forget things, like what you had for breakfast…or if you had breakfast at all.”
25. “Growing old gracefully is just a fancy way of saying ‘I’m too tired to care.'”
26. “When you’re young, you can’t wait to get your driver’s license. When you’re old, you can’t wait to give it up.”
27. “Aging is like a game of Jenga. You keep pulling out pieces, hoping the tower won’t collapse.”
28. “The older you get, the more you realize that life is too short to waste time on things that don’t matter. Like ironing.”
29. “You know you’re getting old when you start to enjoy watching the weather report.”
30. “Growing old is like a good book. You want to savor every chapter, even if some of them are a little slower.”
31. “As you get older, your tolerance for stupidity decreases. It’s a natural defense mechanism.”
32. “The older you get, the more you appreciate a good chair with good lumbar support.”
33. “Growing old is like a game of chess. You have to think several moves ahead, and sometimes sacrifice a pawn or two.”
34. “You know you’re getting old when you start to use phrases like ‘when I was your age…'”
35. “Aging is like a fine wine. It gets better with time, but sometimes it leaves a bitter aftertaste.”
36. “The older you get, the more you realize that you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be you.”
37. “Growing old is like a pair of shoes. They may not be as pretty as they used to be, but they’re still comfortable.”
38. “You know you’re getting old when you start to prefer the company of your pets over people.”
39. “Aging is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get, but you hope it’s not the one with the cherry in it.”
40. “The older you get, the more you realize that it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. And sometimes the journey involves a lot of naps.”
41. “When you’re young, you dream about conquering the world. When you’re old, you just hope you can conquer the stairs.”
42. “Growing old is like a marathon. You may not be as fast as you used to be, but you’re still in the race.”
43. “As you get older, you start to realize that wrinkles are just road maps of your life’s journey. And sometimes those roads had a lot of potholes.”
44. “The older you get, the more you realize that you don’t need a lot of friends, just a few good ones…who can help you get up off the floor.”
45. “You know you’re getting old when you start to enjoy crossword puzzles and watching birds.”
46. “Aging is like a pair of eyeglasses. They may not be stylish, but they help you see the world more clearly.”
47. “Growing old is like a garden. You have to prune the dead leaves and water the roots to keep it thriving.”
48. “The older you get, the more you realize that your bucket list is just a list of things you don’t want to do anymore.”
49. “You know you’re getting old when you start to use a magnifying glass to read the fine print.”
50. “Aging is like a game of poker. You may not have the best hand, but you can still bluff your way to the pot.”
51. “Growing old is like a library. You may have lost some of your books, but you’ve gained a lot of wisdom.”
52. “The older you get, the more you realize that you don’t have to be rich to be happy. You just need a comfortable pair of shoes.”
53. “You know you’re getting old when you start to forget your own name. But at least you can still remember the lyrics to your favorite song from the 70s.”
54. “Aging is like a recipe. You may have to tweak it a little, but it’s still delicious.”
55. “Growing old is like a bicycle. You may not be able to ride it as fast, but you can still enjoy the scenery.”
56. “The older you get, the more you appreciate the little things in life. Like a good cup of tea and a warm blanket.”
57. “You know you’re getting old when you start to prefer sensible shoes over high heels.”
58. “Aging is like a novel. You may have reached the final chapter, but it doesn’t mean the story is over yet.”
59. “Growing old is like a painting. You may have a few cracks and wrinkles, but you’re still a masterpiece.”
60. “The older you get, the more you realize that you can’t change the past. But you can always learn from it…if you remember it.”
61. “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.”
62. “As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Here’s to a long life and a merry one: a quick death and an easy one!”
63. “Getting older is like a game of Jenga. Every year, you remove a block from the tower and hope it doesn’t all come crashing down. The only difference is that with aging, the consequences are a lot more… permanent. It’s a really frightening thing, but at least you get to keep all the blocks you’ve collected along the way!”
64. “Getting older is a great thing because you can blame anything on your age. Forgot your keys? Must be old age. Can’t remember someone’s name? Old age strikes again. It’s the ultimate excuse for any and all shortcomings!”
65. “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”
66. “Saturday night used to be all about parties and staying up late, but now they’re all about pajamas and going to bed early. Ah, the joys of getting older!”
67. “As you get older, you start to realize that taking better care of yourself isn’t a luxury – it’s a survival tactic.”
68. “As you get older, you realize that nice things are overrated. Give me a comfortable chair, a good book, and a few close friends any day.”
69. “As we get older, the wounds that hurt us the most aren’t the ones on our knees or our elbows. It’s the wounds to our pride that take the longest to heal. But luckily, time is a great healer – and a lousy beautician!”
70. “As we get older, we realize that we’ve become the supporting cast in the lives of people we used to be the stars of.”
71. “They say the fountain of youth is hidden somewhere in the Amazon. Clearly, they’ve never met a woman in her forties with a Sephora rewards card.”

51 Funny Quotes About Getting Older

Certainly, some humorous quotes about getting older, along with the person who said them:

1. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter..” – Mark Twain
2. “I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.” – Phyllis Diller
3. “Aging gracefully means being flexible, being open, allowing change, enjoying change and loving yourself.” – Wendy Whelan
4. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams
5. “Age is not how old you are, but how many years of fun you’ve had.” – Matt Maldre
6. “I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone.” – Unknown
7. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom
8. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Carroll Bryant
9. “By the time you’re 80 years old, you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns
10. “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope
11. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” – Joan Collins
12. “I’m not aging, I’m just becoming a classic.” – Unknown
13. “Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
14. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
15. “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven’t committed.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
16. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns
17. “At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.” – George Orwell
18. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen
19. “Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” – Satchel Paige
20. “Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.” – George Carlin
21. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope
22. “Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” – Groucho Marx
23. “You’re never too old to become younger” – Mae West
24. “It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
25. “Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.” – Conan O’Brien
26. “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
27. “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.” – Betty White
28. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzoni
29. “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” Andy RooneyUnknown
30. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” – Theodore Roosevelt
31. “Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!” – Ingrid Bergman
32. “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.” – Sir Tom Stoppard
33. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home.” – Phyllis Diller
34. “I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven’t changed much since I was in my twenties. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now.” – George Carlin
35. “If you’re not getting older, you’re dead.” – Tom Petty
36. “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” – George Burns
37. “Age is an opportunity no less than youth itself.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
38. “Age is a matter of feeling, not of years.” – George William Curtis
39. “As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don’t.” – Carrie Fisher
40. “The older I get, the better I used to be.” – John McEnroe
41. “Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock ’n’ roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.” – Cher
42. “The best thing about being in your 90s is you’re spoiled rotten. Everybody spoils you like mad and they treat you with such respect because you’re old. Little do they know, you haven’t changed. You haven’t changed in [the brain]. You’re just 90 every place else.” – Betty White
43. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
44. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” – Theodore Roosevelt
45. “Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Samuel Ullman
46. “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
47. “The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
48. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” – Joan Collins
49. “It’s OK to grow up; just as long as you don’t grow old.” – Jarvis co*cker
50. “To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
51. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re aboard, there’s nothing you can do.” – Golda Meier

Well, there you have it! We’ve covered a lot of ground in this article on funny sayings and quotes about getting older.

From the classic “age is just a number” to the more comical “you know you’re getting old when…,” these quotes and sayings have hopefully brought a smile to your face and a chuckle to your day.

But in all seriousness, getting older is a natural part of life, and it’s important to embrace it with open arms. While the physical and mental changes that come with aging can be challenging, they can also bring a wealth of knowledge, experience, and wisdom.

So the next time you’re feeling down about your age, remember the wise words of these funny and insightful quotes. And don’t forget to enjoy the journey – no matter how old you are, there’s always something new to learn and discover.

Cheers to growing older and wiser, with a good sense of humor to boot!

About the Author: Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S.